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 Fallen Ashes: The Epic

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Did you enjoy the first installment of Fallen Ashes?
Yes, and I can't wait for the second.
 59% [ 10 ]
Yeah, I liked it.
 24% [ 4 ]
It was okay.
 0% [ 0 ]
I found it better than the opera channel.
 6% [ 1 ]
Hated it, will blacklist Rune.
 11% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 17



Posts : 11
Join date : 2010-11-06
Age : 21
Location : Illinois

PostSubject: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Wed Nov 10, 2010 8:28 pm

Scene 1
Runesaver923 paces in a command tent, muttering to himself. A candle burns low. We can tell from the utter silence and the dripping of the candle that it is late at night. Crickets chirp in the evening silence. Rising Ash snores in the corner, having finally fallen asleep after four days of nonstop planning. Suddenly, Runesaver turns and slams his dagger into a chart resting on the heavy oaken desk. Ash snaps awake with an unintelligible oath.
Ash: Don't do that to me!
Rune: Sorry, general.
Ash: Quite.
Rawrimanurse ducks in through a tent flap leading to a partitioned portion.
Rawr: Can't a woman get any sleep in this tent?
Rune: Sorry, commander. I startled Ash is all.
Rawr: Do try to keep it down, boys.
Both: Yes, ma'am.
Rawrimanurse retreats behind the partition to get some rest. Rising Ash retires to his own tent nearby. Runesaver923 stays to pour over the map.
Runesaver923<muttering to self>: Tongguan pass. I can feel it. That's where they'll come. We have to hold Tongguan pass!
End Scene 1
Scene 2
The army is striking camp. Officers give orders above the general din, while soldiers wearily collapse tents and extinguish cookfires. Out of nowhere, a lone rider crests a rise to the east. Silhouetted against the sun, he sags, then falls from the saddle. A sharp-eyed officer atop her own steed sees him.
Syren Solara: Skylark!
A girl of about sixteen canters to Syren's side. Though young, she bares the markings of an army commander on her left sleeve.
Skylark: Yes, milady?
Syren Solara: Fetch Rising Ash. Tell him it's urgent. Go!
Skylark nods and wheels her horse, galloping through the camp. Solara canters her mount towards the ridge. As she approaches the fallen horseman, a cry of recognition escapes her lips.
Solara: "Jim!"
Jimmydagr8 1 moans, barely conscious. His brown hair is matted with blood and his skin glistens with sweat. A long gash on his forehead oozes pus, obviously infected. As Syren approaches, she sees what the filth of his once-brilliant armor hides from a distance. Jim's hand is clasped to his flank, and covered with blood. Wincing, she moves his fingers, revealing a jagged stab wound and the embedded remains of a shattered spear.
Solara: "Jim, what happened? Where's Dawn?"
Jim: "Gone...they're all gone...just me...Sol?...where's ash?"
Solara: "He's on his way. I sent Skylark to find him."
Jim: "Have...to see...ASH!" He tries to get up, but is pushed down by Syren Solara
Solara: "Not half-dead you don't."
Rising Ash gallops up and swings off his mount in a fluid, practiced motion. He strides quickly to Jim's side and kneels to talk to him.
Ash: "What happened? Where's the rest of the army? Are they with Dawn?"
Jim: "Zhou...thousands of them...no chance...they TOOK her!" Jim tries to get up again, but Ash stops him
Ash: "Jim, Jim! Calm down. Who took her?"
Jim: "The sun warriors!" Jim's eyes roll back and he slumps unconscious, appearing to have stayed coherent this long on sheer willpower alone. He is quickly carried off to the medical tent. Ash enters the command tent with Syren at his shoulder. End of scene.
Scene 3
A tall, cloaked figure stands in the dim torchlight of the stone chamber. His fingers tap impatiently on his forearm as he waits for the return of his commander. Suddenly, footsteps are heard in the passage. A black-clad warrior comes in, bowing respectfully.
The man stands.
"Milord, we encountered a scouting force of Shang two-hundred strong. They are no more. We captured one of their generals, as you commanded."
"Excellent, captain."
"A lone rider fled the combat..."
"Milord, he can't have gone far-he took a spear in the side and the nearest Shang camp that we know of is two days' ride..."
"SILENCE! You are fortunate to have brought me a prisoner, captain. Bring him to me. I wish to question him."
"Her, milord."
"Even better. Women are easier to break."
"As you say, milord."
"Go now. Bring her to me. You deserve rest. A good job, captain, a good job indeed."
End of Scene 3
Scene 4
Interior command tent. Rawrimanurse sits at a desk, faced by Rising Ash and Runawatrain. She leans back heavily.
Rawr: Dawn. Why Dawn?
Ash: I'm sorry, commander. I know you two were close.
Runawatrain: She was close to all of us.
Runesaver923: Is close.
Ash: Gods! Where did you come from?
Rune: You really should invest in guards, commander.
Rawr: I have guards. I'm in the middle of the camp. No one gets in unchallenged.
Rune: The thing you neglect, commander, is that I had your men removed-don't worry, they're quite well=and replaced them with my own. It was easy. Too easy.
Rawr: Not for an enemy. Only for you, general.
Rune: Of course, commander.
Ash: I'll remove the general, commander.
Rawr: Wait, Ash. Now what is this you're going on about, Rune? And...<eyes him over> why are you in full battle dress?
Runawa <tiredly>: He wants to lead a rescue mission.
Rune: I want to lead...yes, Runawa, how did you know?
Runawa and Ash look at each other and roll their eyes.
Rune: Anyway, commander, I can take four legions to the site of the battle and track the enemy. We can have Dawn back by the end of the week...
Rawr: Sit down, Runesaver.
Rune: Yes, ma'am.
Rawr <massages temples wearily>: First of all, we don't know who we're dealing with. Second of all, we can't just go rushing in every time...
Rune<interrupts>: Commander...
Rawr<cuts him off>: Don't start, Rune. We've been through this a dozen times. You do not lead anything, except perhaps a platoon. Some days I'm not even inclined to trust you with that much..."
Rune: Commander...
Rawr<holds hand up>: But, if Ash and Runawa will agree, the three of you will take what troops Ash sees fit in the morning. Now get out of my tent. And send my guards in. My real guards.
Rune: Yes, ma'am. thank you, ma'am!
Rune exits the tent, calling his men.
Rawr: What am I going to do with that one, Ash? So young, so impulsive. If he wasn't so damn loyal I'd have gotten rid of him already.
Ash: You need him. Loyal soldiers are hard to come by. Besides, you know that's how he grieves. He was as close to Dawn as all the men. She had a way of endearing herself to the troops.
Rawr: I know, Ash, I know. sits back, massaging temples again
scene cuts to preparations the following morning
Scene 5
Runesaver923 straps on armor and weapons. As he checks his gear a final time, Rising Ash enters his tent, already in full battle armor.
Ash: Don't make me regret this.
Rune: I won't, commander.
Ash: Remember, this is a tracking mission. We're not going to get into full-out battle if it's at all avoidable.
Rune <pointedly>: Jim was on a scouting assignment. Ask him how it went.
Ash: Point taken. I'll remind the men to be especially wary.
Rune: Yes, sir.
Ash: We leave in five-and-forty. Have your men ready and waiting by the east ridge.
Rune: Yes, sir.
Scene 6
Embered Dawn lies unconscious, bound by iron manacles to a stone table in the center of the torchlit underground chamber. Her battered riding jacket is crusted with blood and filth. A large gash marks clearly where she was struck in the forehead, and her face bears several smaller marks from multiple interrogations. A previously unseen door slides open with a loud grating noise. She starts awake in terror, hastily trying to regain her composure as a familiar armor-clad figure strides into focus. Off camera, the door grates shut with a resounding thud.
Warlord: "I have been patient with you, my dear, but even I can only wait so long. Tell me your name."
Embered Dawn does not respond, but merely tenses stubbornly, steeling herself. The warlord turns and backhands her casually across the mouth.
Warlord: I asked your name.
Dawn spits blood to the side.
Embered Dawn: You'll get nothing out of me.
Warlord: Very well. We'll do this the hard way, I suppose. It really doesn't matter to me at all. You'll tell me what I want to know, my girl. It's just a matter of time. I can be quite persuasive, you know.
He leans close to her. She shudders with revulsion and averts her gaze.
Warlord <moving away>: I do enjoy breaking women. They're such fun. <Chuckles disturbingly>
He turns around holding a strange implement menacingly. Cut to ext. torture chamber. Embered Dawn screams in pain behind door. Screams continue, escalating in volume. Camera cuts to rear overhead of a rider cresting a hill. The night silence is palpable, and the soft hoofbeats of another horse are dampened by the fog. The second rider makes to speak.
Runawatrain: Runesaver.
Runesaver923: You followed me.
Runawatrain: Yes. It's late. You should get some rest.
Runesaver923: I can't rest while a friend is in danger.
Runawa: That makes two of us. Don't go off by yourself, Runesaver.
Rune: I have to find, her, Runawa. She needs help. I can feel it on the wind.
Runawa: I know, Rune, I know.
End of Scene 6
Scene 7
Runesaver923 crouches over a sign on the ground, examining it. Runawatrain sits mounted in the background. Suddenly, Rune stands and mounts his horse. He signals the company, and they all ride to the west, entering a narrow valley. A few rocks fall down the side of the ravine, and Rune wheels his horse sharply. He knocks an arrow and releases. A cry rings out, and a black-clad warrior tumbles from his perch.
Rune: TRAP! It’s a trap!
Runawa and Ash draw their weapons. The troops galvanize, drawing weapons and quickly losing order. Zhou archers spring out of their cover, holding arrows at full draw. Ash drops his weapon and slowly raises his hands. Runawa and Rune follow his lead, and the troops do so as well.
Rune: I’m going for it.
Ash: No!
Rune: I’m sorry, commander. Remember me.
Rune wheels his horse and bolts from the ravine. The archers fire after him. Two arrows miss, then a third slams into his horse’s hindquarters. The beast rears, Rune struggling to bring it under control. An arrow slams into his back and he arcs up, giving a cry of pain. As his horse cries in fear, yet another arrow takes it in the heart and it crumples beneath him. He falls, rolling. The arrow drives through his abdomen and comes out the front of his chest. A dark stain appears, spreading rapidly. Rune spasms and lies still.
Ash <filled with grief>: Damn the idiot! I told him not to go! <turns to Runawa> I told him not to go, didn’t I?
Runawa: There was nothing you could have done. He made his own choice.
The Zhou forces take the remaining legends and their men prisoner. Rune’s men march as dead, shocked by the loss of their invincible leader. The mood is grim, the mission failed and a good friend lost in vain. The enemy has won, no one argues. Now it is only a matter of what is to become of them.

End Act One

Scene 1
The ragged column of men approaches the stronghold of Tongguan Pass. Their guards are the only ones mounted, and a long line of spare mounts follows the marchers. You could no longer call them an army. There is no fighting spirit. Grief and despair are ingrained in every step, every motion. Rain falls in a steady, monotonous rhythm. A cold wind whips it up in waves, chilling
men to the bone. A soldier to the front of the column falls, landing heavily in the mud. Another rushes over to him to help. As the man bends over to help his comrade, we see who it is.

Ash: On your feet, soldier.
Zhou cavalryman: Oi! You! Keep marching!
Ash: This man needs help. We’ve had nothing to eat and barely rested for three days. The men can’t take it any longer. We’re losing them by the hour.
Zhou cavalryman: The strong will survive. We’re doing you a favor, weeding out the weak.
Ash: We need rest.
Zhou cavalryman: Keep marching.
Ash: On your feet, corporal. Come on. Not much farther.
Ash lifts the man and gives him his shoulder. He supports him as they march off. Ash glances back over his shoulder, and a flash of lightning illuminates his face, revealing the grim desperation in his eyes. He turns, and the column marches on.

A body lies in the forest, an arrow protruding from its chest. The sun hangs high in the sky, and a final Zhou warrior rides away. Five minutes pass, the ground soaking with blood. Then the figure moves. Runesaver923 sits up, snapping off the arrowhead. He pulls out his dagger and slits the straps of his chestplate, wincing as he jerks the ruined metal off. He cuts the shirt underneath and it falls, leaving him bare to the waist. It starts to rain, and he quickly becomes sodden. Tearing his shirt into strips, he pulls the arrow out, wincing again. He binds the wound hastily and moves towards a nearby cave, trying to get out of the downpour.
Inside the cave, Rune pulls his bandages tight, but the water has made his skin slippery. Suddenly, he appears to have thought of something. He staggers out into the rain. Stumbling to the side of his fallen horse, he fumbles with the catch of the saddle bag. His vision blurs, and he cuts the satchel open in desperation. His hand thrusts in and he withdraws a small bag. Yanking the drawstring pouch open using his teeth, he empties it onto the ground. Small glass vials roll everywhere, and he snatches one up, then another. His vision blurs and blacks, and with his final ounce of effort, he uncaps the bottle with his teeth and drains it, passing out immediately. Lightning illuminates his prone figure splayed upon the earth, and a report of thunder sounds startlingly nearby. The air grows silent, then a sound is heard, rapidly increasing in pitch and ending with another clap of thunder as lightning strikes a mere twenty feet from our hero. When the lightning disappears, it leaves in its place a beautiful female legend. As she strides over to Rune, we see that the rain does not touch her ice blue dress, but seems to pass around it.
The legend bends over Rune, gently kissing him on the forehead. At her touch, the storm fades and a warm, moist breeze stirs his hair. A healthy pallor returns to his cheeks, and he coughs, spitting out blood as he rolls onto his side, raising himself with an arm. Balancing himself on his forearm, he looks around in confusion, then shoves himself to a sitting position, leaning heavily on the same arm. Camera cuts to cave interior.

Cave Interior
Runesaver923 staggers into the cave, launching into a fit of coughing. He clutches in his hand his saddle bag. Dropping to his knees, he examines the contents. He throws out all his food, finding it ruined. Most of his gear is useless, but he does find a dry shirt. He puts it on, touching his scarred chest, wincing.
Rune <to self>: Must still be some internal damage.
Rune quickly strips, putting on dry articles, and settles in to sleep, pulling his saddle bag over for a pillow.
End of Scene 1
Scene 2
Birds chirp in the still morning air. The sun is a third of the way to its zenith. A lone figure makes his way west, an air of purpose about him. He wears leather gloves with vine-styled detail and carries a quarterstaff. His eyes dart searchingly around. Suddenly, he stops, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the sun’s glare.
Rune: *whistles a signal*
(An answering whistle)
Rune: Baden, is that you?
A solitary man strides out of a thicket of trees to Rune’s left, coming down the gentle grade to stand facing him. The pair clasp forearms and embrace as old comrades. The man’s dark skin stands out as odd; the first we have seen so far, it contrasts unnaturally with his snow-white hair. Red irises and unnatural, catlike pupils give a demonic look to the already disturbing countenance.
Rune: Did you bring what I asked?
Baden: Good to see you too.
Rune accepts a bundle from Baden. He unrolls it and begins to strap on light armor and weapons as he pulls them out. He talks as he fastens his gear into place. Baden also equips himself, having removed his armor to remain inconspicuous as a woodsman, whose obligatory cloak had easily concealed his appearance.
Rune: We don’t have time for pleasantries. Now we have Ash and Runawa to rescue as well. Surprise is all we have going for us.
Baden: And me.
Rune: Of course. Why do you think I asked you?
Baden: Maybe because no one else is stupid enough to go along with your harebrained schemes?
Rune: That, and the fact that you’re the most powerful seer I’ve ever met.
Baden: It’s no gift, believe me. I can’t even see how this one comes out.
Rune: No one ever can. It’s my fault. I’m too much of a wild card. A tis’kalem, we call it back home.
Baden: He who moves.
Rune: Yeah. I didn’t realize you spoke the tongue.
Baden: Remember what I was.
Rune: Ah, of course. You’ve been around since it was the vernacular.
Baden: Naturally.
The pair finish equipping. They begin to walk, Rune slinging a longbow across his back as they do so, and Baden donning his field kit. Rune stops after about ten paces and turns to face Baden.
Rune: Let’s do this.
Baden nods sharply and the two resume moving at a half-jog, following the trail of the Zhou column. The camera fades into the next scene.

Last edited by Runesaver923 on Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:31 pm; edited 8 times in total
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Wind Order

Posts : 2
Join date : 2010-11-13

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Sat Nov 13, 2010 3:39 pm

This is interesting- please keep writing this.
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Join date : 2010-11-26

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:59 pm

Very nice!!!!
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Posts : 11
Join date : 2010-11-06
Age : 21
Location : Illinois

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Fri Dec 03, 2010 6:00 pm

Feel free to reply with your comments. Feel welcome to cry. Feel suspense for the next act.
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Santa Claauz

Posts : 20
Join date : 2010-12-05

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:20 am

woot!! can I be in the next one pllllzz
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Xbox Endless


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Age : 21
Location : Behind you

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:05 pm

Extremely well done, I enjoyed reading it. Can't wait for the next one!
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Posts : 11
Join date : 2010-11-06
Age : 21
Location : Illinois

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:13 pm

What's "meh"?
I am open to comments. "meh" doesn't help me write it better next time. Tell me what you dislike or what you like that's missing.
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:02 pm

"Meh" would be his signature you idiot Razz.
(no offence)

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Xbox Endless


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PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Tue Dec 14, 2010 6:08 pm

Ravenn6 wrote:
"Meh" would be his signature you idiot Razz.
(no offence)

Lol, I was just thinking that, w/o the idiot part. :p
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Wed Dec 15, 2010 7:35 am

It was intended as a bit of fun, not as an insult.

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Santa Claauz

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PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Wed Dec 15, 2010 6:12 pm

lol ravenn I just find it funny you have to explain that (y'know the not as an insult part)
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Posts : 11
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Age : 21
Location : Illinois

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:25 pm

He has to because it is written. If he was speaking, the jest would be indicated by his tone, but since tone doesn't carry well in text, he needed to indicate that he was jesting and not insulting (as it could be either, lacking context).
Anyway, I get it now. No offense taken.
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Embered Dawn


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Age : 31
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PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Tue May 03, 2011 12:34 am

Omg...you leave me to being beaten up by some dude? Ohhh no, we can't have this....Some 'knight in shining armor" needs to turn up fast...Maybe Richy? I could live with that most def ^.^

Or perhaps Eletric_dog can show up and start talking the ear off the bad guy >.>

But this is really cool Rune, nice job kiddo Smile
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Posts : 653
Join date : 2010-01-26
Age : 26
Location : England

PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Tue May 03, 2011 7:02 pm

Guys since the guy is no longer continuing with the story since he has left, you may continue it if you like, just attempt to keep it to a decent quality as with the original post and I'll add the following scenes to the story.

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PostSubject: Re: Fallen Ashes: The Epic   Sun May 22, 2011 7:08 pm

Embered Dawn wrote:
Omg...you leave me to being beaten up by some dude? Ohhh no, we can't have this....Some 'knight in shining armor" needs to turn up fast...Maybe Richy? I could live with that most def ^.^

Or perhaps Eletric_God can show up and start talking the ear off the bad guy >.>

But this is really cool Rune, nice job kiddo Smile

shutup jizzy. you fail
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